This post is rated Sprinters, Olympians and Ironman.

I recently returned from a speaking engagement in Midland, TX. I had the tremendous honor of interacting with a very special group. The leader of the group shared an insight that was profound enough to inspire this post. Before I go on, ask yourself how many people you interacted with today. Now consider the level at which those conversations existed. I know I’m going deep but trust me there is a point…

The fact of the matter is that most people love to talk about themselves. I have found that the single greatest way to influence others is to listen. If you really want to know what matters to people all you have to do is ask. Asking is the easy part; caring is the challenge. So how do demonstrate to others that you care? Well, you could start with a firm handshake and a look in the eye as you make your introduction. Next, you can ask a question and ACTUALLY LISTEN TO THE RESPONSE.

We’ve all heard the phrase “I don’t care what you know until I know that you care.” By asking questions and maintaining contact you are telling people that you care. Once I know that you care about me, I will tell you exactly what matters. Asking and caring are like salt and pepper; they come in pairs. One without the other (more often than not) simply won’t work. If I do a lot of asking and not so much caring, you will feel as if I am interrogating you. On the flip side caring without asking is not caring at all, which point to the significance of the title in this post.

If you are not fully prepared to listen to the response you are asking for, save your breath and ask yourself “do I really want to know?” Life without relationships is not living at all.